Certainty
by ConfessionsOfAGeekyFangirl
Summary: REVISED! "She loved him. Or at least, she thought she did." A look at Jack and David's relationship through the eyes of Sarah. Slash, Javid.


**AN: O-**_**kaaaaay,**_** so I seem to have not had a lot a luck writing this fanfic, so I went back and edited some parts that were annoying me (mostly the bit with Sarah on the staircase, because, you know, I just realized last night that the Jacobs' tenement building doesn't **_**have**_** an indoor staircase), in hopes that I can finally move on with my life and write some new material. Sorry, I'm really nit-picky like that, I guess. **

**Disclaimer: I do not now, nor have I ever, nor will I ever, own **_**Newsies, **_**and I cry myself to sleep every night because of it. **

Certainty

She loved him.

Or at least, she thought she did.

Sarah had to admit, she'd been smitten with Jack Kelly from the very first moment she laid eyes on him. There was just something so enticing about that boyish grin; that charming attitude; that rebellious spirit and kind heart and dreamer persona.

It certainly helped that Jack was almost painfully beautiful. Sarah had never really known that a boy could be considered beautiful, but Jack had most definitely proved her wrong. Golden-brown hair. Sun-kissed skin. Dazzling eyes the exact color of warm, melted chocolate.

It was no wonder that Sarah had fallen do incredibly hard for him.

Or at least, she thought she did.

The day that the strike ended was also the day Sarah first began to doubt her feelings. Jack had kissed her, sure. And while was at first shocked and even delighted, at the same it felt...well, empty.

No fireworks.

No butterflies in her stomach.

Nothing.

And if the look on Jack's face after he'd pulled away was any indication, he felt the exact same way. In fact, he'd almost seemed _guilty._

But she'd probably just imagined that last part.

They still ended up going together, of course. She let him take her out. They talked; they held hands; they even kissed a few more times. But the more time the two spent together, the more abundantly clear it became to Sarah that whatever she had with Jack just wasn't real. They had almost nothing in common – nothing of substance to talk about. There was no spark. No connection. It just wasn't going to work.

Sarah was heartbroken.

Or at least, she thought she was.

The more she thought about it, however, the more okay with it she felt. Sarah was always a bit of a hopeless romantic. She'd grown up fantasizing of the day when she would finally get married and start a family of her own. She had been so sure that she was truly in love with Jack, but then again…maybe she wasn't. Maybe she just liked the _idea _of being in love. Maybe she'd been so desperate to feel it for herself that she just latched onto this boy – the first boy she'd ever felt any real attraction towards.

Maybe she and Jack just weren't right for each other.

And if she needed any more convincing, it soon became unbearably clear that Jack was completely, utterly, hopelessly in love with another person.

Not only that, but said person also happened to be none other than her own brother, David Jacobs.

Deep down, Sarah couldn't deny that she'd sensed it early on; that she'd seen all of the signs; that she'd _known_ that something was happening between the two boys, even if they didn't seem to know it themselves. But she simply didn't want to believe it.

So, she pretended not to notice the way that David and Jack acted when they were together, that special bond they shared that no one in the entire world could ever even begin to understand.

She didn't pay any attention to the way they would take any opportunity to make physical contact – whether that meant a pat on the back, an arm loosely draped around the shoulders, a hand resting just close enough to the other's for their fingers to lightly brush against each other, or, in some cases, even a hug – for no particular reason at all, or that these touches seemed to last a bit longer than necessary.

Most importantly, she never saw the _look_ that they would give each other, when they thought nobody was watching. A look that said a thousand things without one spoken word being needed. A look that was so full of _want_ and _need_ and _joy_ and _sincerity_ and complete and utter _adoration. _A look so different from anything Sarah had ever seen before – so different from any way Jack ever looked at her.

Sarah hated them both for it.

Or at least, she tried to.

Shouldn't she, after all? Shouldn't she be absolutely bitter and resentful? Wasn't that how most people would react? What did David have that she didn't? Why did he always have to be the one to get his way? Why would Jack choose him over her? Was there something wrong with her? What, was she just not good enough?

And two boys liking each other in _that_ sort of way – wasn't that supposed to be wrong? A man should not lust after another man the way he should a woman, right? Or at least, that was what she'd been taught.

But, despite Sarah's best efforts, she just couldn't force herself to feel that way. She could never hate her brother, not after all they'd been through together, not after all of the times he'd been there for her, and especially not after seeing how happy Jack made him. David was never happy before becoming a newsie. He was always so uptight and worried, and never had any fun. But now, seeing that magnificent smile that would light up David's face at just the very mention of his best friend's name, the faint blush that would give his usually pale skin a lively pink glow whenever they would sit together – just hearing David _laugh_ for what felt like the first time in ages…then obviously Jack was good for him.

As for Jack; Sarah didn't love him. That much was clear. And if that was the case, then she supposed that she was in no position to hold it against him for having feelings for somebody else. Maybe other people said it was wrong for two boys to want to be together, but as far as Sarah was concerned, if they were happy, then that was all that mattered. Sure, it seemed a bit odd to her, but it wasn't causing any real damage. Let them do what they wanted.

It was no surprise when Jack decided to break things off.

"Look, uh, Sarah…it's nothin' you did. Honest. It's just that…well, I-I mean…I just don't think this is gonna work out, you know?" Jack Kelly, for once in his life, seemed completely unsure of what to say.

"I understand, Jack," she said, completely calm.

"…You do?"

She nodded.

"And are you…like, are you okay?" asked Jack, concerned.

"I'll be fine." And she meant it.

"You sure?"

"Don't worry about me." Sarah gave him a faint, reassuring grin, before looking at him seriously. "There's someone else, isn't there?"

At first, it looked like Jack was about to deny it, to tell another one of his lies. Instead, he finally sighed and said truthfully, "Yeah. Yeah, there is actually…sorry."

Sarah weighed her words carefully in her head before responding. Should she mention David? "Well…I hope you two are happy together."

And with that, she turned on her heel and walked away before giving Jack a chance to react.

Later that night, Sarah lay wide awake in her bed, replaying the day's events in her mind over and over again. Jack hadn't come over for dinner for the first time since the strike ended, resulting in concern from all of her family members – including David. Once Sarah assured him that yes, Jack had broken up with her and yes, she was okay and no, she wasn't angry and Jack was still welcome over any time, he'd calmed down considerably. In fact, he'd seemed to be struggling to hide a giddy smile.

She sighed, rolling onto her side so that her back was facing the window, her eyes fixated on a crack in the wall. It was no use; she just couldn't seem to fall asleep.

Suddenly, there was a sharp knock on the glass, followed by a muted call of, "Psst! Davey, it's me!"

Jack.

Sarah held her breath, completely rigid as she strained her ears to listen. She could hear her older brother rolling out of bed, yawning, and taking a few heavy, groggy steps before the window pane slid open with a low _CREAK!_

"Get dressed," Jack murmured. "Meet'cha up on the roof in a few minutes, alright?"

David said nothing, but Sarah assumed he had nodded in response because Jack disappeared, the sounds of his footsteps growing increasingly faint as he climbed up to the top of the building. David, now completely awake, it seemed, scurried to throw on some clothes before climbing out onto the fire escape to join him.

Once he was gone, Sarah shot up in bed. She sat there for a few minutes, contemplating what to do as she stared into the dark. Should she follow them? It didn't seem right to spy on the boys, but at the same time – what if they got into trouble? _What_ were they doing in the middle of the night?

In the end, curiosity won out and Sarah tossed the covers aside and kicked on her slippers, then tip-toed over to the open window. The cool night air washed over her body as she slipped outside and began to make her way to the roof, moving as quietly as possible.

When she finally reached the top, Sarah took a deep breath, hesitating. Slowly she poked her head up, clutching so tightly onto the rusty metal bars of the ladder that her knuckles turned white, unsure of what exactly she would find.

Jack and David stood side-by-side on the end opposite from her, leaning on the ledge and speaking in low, hushed tones. Their hands rested on top of one another's, fingers softly intertwined. They gazed into each other's eyes; both wearing identical smiles that held all of the happiness a person could possibly feel. Above their heads, a full moon shone brightly in the nighttime sky, surrounded by millions of twinkling little stars that bathed the city in a sea of pale, silvery light.

Sarah gasped. It was _breathtaking._

"It's beautiful out here tonight, isn't it?" said David.

"Yeah," Jack agreed, "it is."

The couple stood in silence for a while. Sarah leaned in just a little bit more to get a better view. They still didn't notice her.

"She ain't mad, is she?" Jack suddenly asked. "Your sister, I mean."

David shook his head. "No, I don't think so. She said she isn't, anyway."

"Good."

"You did the right thing, Jack. It wouldn't be fair to just string her along."

He sighed. "I know, I know. I just never wanted to hurt her, Dave. I never woulda kissed her if I knew...I really thought things could work between us, but…" Jack squeezed the other boy's hand affectionately. "What can I say? Guess I fell in love with somebody else."

David brought a hand up to caress the side of Jack's face and pressed their foreheads together. "I love you, too," he breathed.

Then, he kissed Jack tenderly on the lips. Sarah watched in awe.

It was when they broke apart that Jack finally caught sight of her, watching from the doorway. His expression instantly changed to one of shock and panic, and his brown eyes widened, begging Sarah to not tell anyone. David, still facing the other direction, didn't notice.

Sarah just nodded and gave him a small, understanding smile. Then she placed her index finger over her lips.

Jack began to relax and he looked at her appreciatively. _Thank you,_ he mouthed.

Sarah finally turned away at that moment to give the lovers some time alone, closing the door behind her and creeping back downstairs.

Jack and David loved each other. They really, honestly _loved_ each other. They had something real; something only a few people were lucky enough to have; something that was pure and warm and undeniably beautiful.

Maybe, Sarah thought as she climbed back into bed, exhaustion finally taking a hold of her, maybe one day she might be able to find that kind of love for herself.

But right now, she was genuinely happy for them.

And for that, Sarah was absolutely, positively certain.

**AN: Review, pretty please, and I will send you a Virtual Cookie.**


End file.
